Custom Search

Friday, October 30, 2009

Maplestory: Monkey Trainers...Really?



Monkeys...really?


Quicke: This Cake is Really Just a 2D Image

I’ve heard about Maplestory from some friends and for the most part they liked it at first, but gave up around level 15 because the game just abandoned them like orphan vampires.



It looked super cute and it had nice nostalgic feel with the 2D environment, but it lacked a creative story. It felt very strange to ask monkeys for tutorial steps, no wonder the kingdom was falling apart, the warriors are taught by apes.

I also thought the controls were too much like button mash paradise and the hit detector was shotty. It brought no joy to my life, it just depressed my inner gamer despite the cuteness.

Most MMORPGs have a dynamic story drawing you in, making you interested, active, but Maple Story just slapped your character in with monkeys to guide you.

There was nothing to communicate the character’s motive in the game and I thought carrying around a chair for your character was retarded.

The enemies pop up so much, there was not time to sit and it just looked lame for an adventurer to carry a chair. Just imagine a adventurer on WOW carrying a chair…



enough said.

Maplestory was too simple to enjoy and it just left me a little empty inside.

Thursday, October 22, 2009

Runes of Magic: Nothing New

Runes of Magic

This MMORPG was a copy paste of WOW without the creative designs or creatures you pay 15$ a month for.

What I found to be very annoying was when signing into their account management, I had to create a new account in order to apply for the “free” game. I had to find this on the forum: Runes of Magic Forum for the Login Issue

And do not forget to change your region before you “start game” on the loading screen, because if you forget it will not recognize your ID and password until you change it to the appropriate country.

It was a beautiful game to play, but it failed to be any different from the other MMORPGS I’ve played. Mostly it lacked any unique character races; elves and humans were it, that was it, and pointy ears do not improve hearing people.

My favorite part of the creation was the boob adjuster, only for females, sorry.

Like any other “free” game, there was the option of buying “diamonds” to buy unique items online, but this doesn’t effect the gameplay too much because badass gear still has leather straps holding it together.




Was this false advertising? As with all movies promoting a game. Of course they show awesome battle sequences that never happen in game and even when they do have one featuring in game footage, everyone looked the same and bland.

I’m also confused about what exactly this game was. Why are the elves in exile? Who are we going to fight? Why? Nothing was explained.

Anyway, when you did begin there was an offer for a tutorial, take it, it gives a mount. However, the next fifty million quests are the tutorial, yay repetition….what am I four?

I still do not fully understand why people want to play a human character. It’s boring, you’re a human now, why do you want to play one on a fantasy RPG? I insist on playing a freaky character, because at least I’m something different than a clone of myself who can leap buildings.

To be honest, if you like WOW in a simple format, this is a good game. But it lacks the originality of WOW and fails to present anything unique for the gamer explorer.


Just tell me this doesn't look like a dragonhawk >>

Monday, October 12, 2009

Dungeons and Dragons Online; shoulda, coulda, woulda, wasn't

Quickie: This cake was a lie!

Dungeons and Dragons Online


I have attempted to play the tabletop version of Dungeons and Dragons (DD) with my friends, but the games always seemed to fall through. But I did find Dungeon and Dragons Online (DDO) and it was “free”.

Liars. It was only free until level four. Not only that you have to pay to register and guild and to access some dungeons, what the hell.

It was not a bad game visually, it was actually like Guild Wars in style because it was mostly colored in bland colors like brown. At least World of Warcraft (WOW) had some color, it just felt too real to be fun, no escapism could be found in the repetitive sewer dungeons or towns, which was all you could do, unless you paid.

In other RPGs with my friends, like Exalted, the dungeon master (DM) was a least creative and gave us unimaginable challenges that gave us a mental workout, but with DDO it was the same dungeons with three different monsters.

Not only that, but if you wanted the good equipment you had to go through the dungeon again on a different difficulty. What a horrible way to extend playtime, it’s like a bad NES game tactic.

Also, the character choices are minimal:
human
pointed ear human
husky small human
small human

and the other two choices, dark skinned pointed ear human and molted giant human, the Warforged, weren’t available unless you paid. I will never complain about WOWs verity again after seeing how little imagination went into creating races for DDO.

The way you controlled the character was also very difficult. From what I understand the mouse was used for character movement/targeting and the keyboard dealt out spells, special attacks and abilities. This was at least how I play it, but DDO decided to make the left mouse key attack, requiring you to move with the keyboard.

It was jumpy, hard to control and why the hell did they change a good system? I wonder if they even test their ideas sometimes.

I also do not understand why they include what dice was needed for the attack, even if you didn’t actually use dice rolling in the game.

It was also unbalanced in solo playing, but DD was based on group campaigning, so unless you like groups, I would stick with something else, like Navy Field or WOW, which has excellent balance in solo characters.

Monotonous dungeons, enemies, character designs killed this game for me. I expected time and creativity to be poured into it, but found average graphics covering up horrible gameplay.

DDO was a killjoy to the creative tabletop franchise dooming nerds to their homes and fanfiction. Don’t play it, pretend it never happened.

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Gunbound...a chibi solution to tanks



Quickie: Download


Gunbound is fun and sadistic, especially because they have super cute chibi players, adorably deadly tanks, accessories and annoyingly sweet music as you bombard your enemies with rockets!

When I fist started playing Gunbound it was much easier to acquire a unique avatar with the gold you acquire through mercilessly killing other obscenely cute players on playful maps with cheery music in the background.

Now, it takes a hefty amount of gold to build your avatar, unless you want to pay cash. In fact, it is very annoying to build a proficient character with only gold.

Obviously they are attempting to make people spend money, but a noob is still a noob no matter how good the gear he has.

There are some avatar accessories only available through cash or gold, but for the most part you can find an equivalent if you pay either way.

What really makes me angry is the fact Gunbound charges depending on how much time you want to keep the avatar item. Personally I believe if you pay cash, you should be able to keep if forever, end of story.

Furthermore, they make you pay to post your picture on the profile? WTF?

Moving on to the actual gameplay…Gunbound is like tanks, but with a little gay flare to entice more females into the franchise. Or maybe boys just like visually molesting chibi avatar females, I don’t know.

Tank choice is fun, because it’s just not a soulless tank. Most feature cute eyes or can even be an animal ready to maim with it’s custom rockets, coming from hammer space.



Personally I like the Bigfoot, it doesn’t hit worth anything, but often leaves enemies buried and eventually the hole leads them off the map into death.

There are also many maps to choose from and it’s very easy to make your own room, just remember to choose a tank suited to the map and your abilities. There are also different kids of battles:
Solo-every avatar for themselves
Score-you blast the opposing team with limited lives
Tag-you choose two mobiles to fight with
Jewel-you hit targets, earning points to victory
Powerball-same as score, but the teleport is only available, and powerballs drop giving advantages to players who collect them or land on them

I suggest you start on Jewel until you become used to the aiming dynamic of the game, which is simple, but takes some practice. All you have to consider is angle and wind, but each tanks weapons can act differently to each condition.

There are also certain bonuses you can earn by how many hit points you accumulate on a player, if you shoot backwards, high angle, it’s endless and fun to explore different styles of fighting.


Gunbound Trick Shots Tutorial - Watch today’s top amazing videos here

I like how the game isn’t just point and shoot and how you can develop your skills through actual practice. It’s takes time and energy, but it’s so cute and fun to play.

So, download and give it a try, it’s free, fun, cute and addicting!