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Thursday, December 17, 2009

11 Dumb Things in Assassin's Creed 2

In no particular order the dumb things in Assassin’s Creed 2:

1. Baby Wiggling

When you first play Ezio you are just a newborn baby and you are forced to make him wiggle. I just though this was a little silly, gross, and just because you have a mature rating doesn’t mean you have to show an actual birth.


2. It’s You Ezio!

I noticed that when Ezio’s name sounds like ‘it’s you’. I really don’t know if it was to make you feel like you were the character, but it’s a little stupid and just made me laugh.

3. Freaking Guards

The guards are either borderline moronic or plain ruthless. If I accidentally bump a person in front of them while I run they come out in full force to murder me. Holy Bob was that annoying. I guess they focused on making the game pretty, and it is, so the AI had to suffer.

4. Why is Leonardo here?

I’m sorry, but when a game places any famous historical character in game for the pure reason of using one of his inventions for one scene, it’s shameless lameness.


5. Tickle Me Pointless

I hate pointless treasure hunts in games. They add nothing to the story, are wastes of time, and are especially annoying when you have to complete them. Thankfully the feathers were an option.

6. I Have to Run to the Villa to Change

I noticed when you buy new armor it automatically assigns to you. However if you want to change any of your armor without buying it you have to go to your Villa to change. WTH? I can freakin carry everything else in hammer space, but not my armor? Oh NO! I have to run to the Villa to change. How stupid.

7. Un-friendly Button Mashing

For the most part it is simple, but I hated having to release buttons to attack versus dodge. It would have been so much easier if there were just one button mashing for each of the moves.

8. Dressin’ to Kill

Ok, I understand you have to have some distinction in your character, but Ezio is just advertising he is an assassin. His hood, cape, coloration, armor, would just
bring trouble around every turn. Also he would just drown in the water because he was so heavy.

9. Nobody Drank the Water

If this game is to be historically accurate, the water would have been filthy and Ezio would have refused to swim in it. Every time I had to swim, mostly by accident, I cringed imagining the poop and garbage floating about….ewwww.


10. Death by Wa-Wa

I thought it was actually hilarious to just push a guard/enemy into the water and wait for insta-death. I used it as much as I could because it just made fights easier and hilarious.

11. It’s a Me Mario!

One of the funniest lines in the whole game is when Ezio meets his uncle. When he said the fabled words “It’s a me Mario!” I instantly thought Nintendo is going to sue. Honestly they couldn’t find any other Italian names?

Of course it’s a matter of opinion, I loved the game, for the most part, It was pretty, thought provoking and made murder fun again.